m. Jor' Plier's Journal|
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m. Jor' Plier's LiveJournal:
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|Friday, January 15th, 2010|
1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
lived off of food i found in the garbage for a while, installed a gaspipe line,
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i dont think i made any resolutions last year. quit smoking im sure but that didnt pan out any of the many times i told myself i would.
This year I hope to:
change the world, travel to every continent, quit smoking :), hop some trains, make some loot, spend some time in a non english country for a while
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
not this year.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
no they didnt thankfully...
5. What countries did you visit?
uff, none. i spent almost nine months inside of one city before i hit the road again.
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
many, the mj death day was for me a really great day, july 4th was great too. tess's birthday in brooklyn, oct 3rd i left nyc.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
umm, i got on with the gettin on, oh and making it to yoga class at least six times a week for six motnhs!
9. What was your biggest failure?
left a lot of loose ends, alienated a friend
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
11. What was the best thing you bought?
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
everyone's im sure
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
14. Where did most of your money go?
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
the tree house
16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2009?
that jay z and alicia keys song about new york
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
- Happier or sadder? this time last year? happier
- Thinner or fatter? same, i cant get above or below 175-180ish no matter what i do
- Richer or poorer? again, this time last year, poorer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
whatever the f i wanted to
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
what i felt like i had to
20. How did you spend Christmas?
in oregon with mom and james
21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
22. How many one-night stands?
23. What was your favorite TV program?
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
im no hater
25. What was the best book you read?
the wind up bird chronicle
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
27. What did you want and get?
i got life
28. What did you want and not get?
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
didnt see many
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
partied with mom and my nyc crew at the spur tree. i turned 28
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
workin with what i got
33. What kept you sane?
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
36. Who did you miss?
long list here, friends and family that i was away from, be they living or dead
37. Who was/were the best new person/people you met?
scott, ben, and the whole 1614 crew
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
no laws to break or follow, do whatever you want
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
there's nothing you cant do
|Saturday, December 6th, 2008|
|Monday, November 3rd, 2008|
(granted these stories are kind of old, especially the latter, although i just learned about it a few days ago. nevertheless, i would like to give a pause and reflect on the contributions made to the good fight in both cases)
here's to the somali pirate's who stumbled upon a freighter full of illegal munitions bound for sudan, and unintentionally exposed an international ring of corruption and anti-humanitarianism.
way to go pirates!
also, earlier this summer during a visit to albania (a country that has an inexplicable affinity for americanism and george w),bush's watch was lifted off his arm while shaking hands with a crowd gathered to get a glimpse at our commander and chief.
that's right! somebody lifted his watch! right in front of his armed security officers! can you imagine? the gall to steal the watch off of the president of the united states. wow! this is better than when bush's daughter's purse was stolen off of her in broad daylight on sunday afternoon in san telmo, buenos aires. like i said, this story is a bit old but i just heard about it.
so three cheers for pickpockets and pirates. keep up the good work!
these incidents cause me to reflect upon a kind of epiphenomenol pondering that i have been toying with for some weeks now. it appears that often, when a person becomes historically aware, through accident or effort, the effect is an immediate and paradoxical loss of perspective. meaning that, it as if all of a sudden, the newly awakened mind often responds with a lack of patience for, or essential understanding of, the process which it has just become aware. "the world is thus. all this time i didnt know. but now i do. and i cannot except what i see. it must change. the world, life, cannot be lived in this way any longer!" the reality is that the world is thus, or thus has it been made, and the scale of one life is far too short to reconcile with the scope of what has come before. we are only here for a short time, and in regards to history, while may things can happen in the span of a life, the manifestation of our impact or the impact of occurrences which we witness will inevitably be delayed beyond the time frame which we are given to experience them. mlk had a dream more than forty years ago, and yet, it is only decades later and only bit by bit, that we wake up. and so, our charge is not to find a final solution, or even envision one, but to trudge on, being vulnerable to our capacity to err, and acknowledging that what we do will produce effects that we cannot control.
time is less like a road and more like an ocean, we progress, but not in a measurable way, we move independently within the movements of bodies and forces greater than ourselves.
|Saturday, October 25th, 2008|
|Friday, September 26th, 2008|
|i aint got long to live, and i aint got no love...
i do however have my liver, as well as my freedom and life.
anyway, so im going to pull a jason and post some links.
first we have an interesting article regarding a perplexing cosmic phenomenon, which engenders in one's mind an awe at the experience of living a "life" inside a cellular vessel interacting with other mater and energy in the universe.http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?view=DETAILS&grid=&xml=/earth/2008/09/24/scispace124.xml
the second is however yet another disheartening testament to the adage that humanity's worst enemies are humans. it is also, for those louisianians out there, yet another reason to hang our heads in shame and roll our eyes in disgust. and if it comes to pass, perhaps a reason to chuck a rock or twenty. http://en.wikinews.org/wiki/Voluntary_sterilization_of_poor_women_proposed_by_Louisiana_state_legislator
in other news brooklyn is treating me very well these days. the fall is settling in and im on the hunt for a used coat. got my eyes out for some slick leather jacket so as to confirm my new status of big city, fuck you im walkin here pal, dweller. and after a string of false hopes and failed attempts it appears(knock on wood) that i have a steady job. im tending a bar in the lower east side of manhattan. its a really cool little joint. owned and run by a couple of cats from jamaica mon. so its a jamaican bar with kind of a china town twist. cool vibe though. i mean any place where the dj regularly spins fela is alright with me. thats right, i get paid to listen to fela. clientel is interesting. lots of iternational folks, islanders and africans for the most part, with the occasional whitey thrown in for token. its good. the take is decent and the fringe benefits are more than few.
so i can breath a little easier for now. money out here... shit man. more like what money? i dont want to even say how much ive dropped in one night with my guard down. suffice to say that its good to be on the other side of the bar for a change.
also, in keeping with my stated goal of dedicating this part of my life to tactile pursuits i have bought a drum set. well setish we'll call it. one of the dudes i was subletting with my first few weeks here is a drummer and jazz student at the new school. so he's been giving me lessons. and we were talking about how i needed something at home to practice on so he just up and gave me a floor tom and rack so i could use it as a bass drum. so i took this nudge by the universe to mean that i should follow suit. so i went a bought a pedal and a bunch of hardware and some cymbals and a practice pad thing. if the job is still looking good in a week im gonna buy a snare. its about fucking time anyway. ive wanted a drum set for like 7 years. plus i figure i should do all this now before my little nest egg is gone.
been reading a bunch, the train is great for that. a kind of ethno-musical analysis/ bio of fela, a retrospective gallery book on serra (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Serra
), and ellison's "the invisible man" (which is fucking incredible by the way), and few other odds and ends. as far as music goes i downloaded the j dilla discography which included three "beat tapes" apparently discarded or unfinished works in progress. lots of inspiration there. also im waiting for the nina simone discography to finish up. ive got a few loose ends on my machine and they are in heavy rotation ("rags and iron"). she really is something else, so much power and raw, raw emotion. not to mention virtuosity and humor. woman had it all. oh yeah and Mulatu Astatke, highly recommended.
so thats all for now. peace.
|Monday, September 22nd, 2008|
|Friday, September 12th, 2008|
9 11 who?
i thought you said you would never forget!!!
|Thursday, August 14th, 2008|
|Wednesday, August 13th, 2008|
|survey! my very own survey post!
so after years of lurking in the shadows i am going to come out of the closet. i sometimes enjoy doing blog surveys. for years now i have hidden my delight by limiting my posting of said surveys by leaving them as comments in the original journal or as responses to buletins. well i just filled out this survey and it says its too big to be a comment so i have to post it as an entry. enjoy!
oh yeah also, i got this survey for makebeliever's journal so i have included bits of her responses as they are relevant to my answers.
Would you do meth if it was legalized?
my gut reaction here is to say that the legal status of a substance has nothing to do with my decision to do it or not. ive smoked meth before and i want to beleive that my decision had nothing to do with its leaglity. but i think some consideration should be given to the idea of compulsory subversion. meaning that i think that one of the things that drew me to drugs and drug culture in the first place was that it was illegal and taboo. and so i have to concede that if meth where legal i may not have smoked it when i did.
Are you for or against abortion?
i think that abortion is a survival technique that has been a part of humanity for a very long time. once again (and possibly more truthfully this time) the legal status is irrelevant. to quote the digabale planets: "it has always been around, it will always have a niche, but they'll make it a privalage not a right, accesable only to the rich"
Would our country (United States) fall with a woman president?
Do you believe in the death penalty?
i think it is inhumane and hypocritical. not to mention (as you already have) that the application is subject to the worst kind of bigotry and institutional exclusivity.
Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already?
well as of this writing i am still in oregon where it has been legalized for medical purposes. now this is only a state law and doesnt protect growers, distributors, or users from federal prosicution but it is generally understood that when on the west coast the individual states have effectivly "won" the debate. being that the feds dont really go messin around behind the states backs. also, especially in the bigger cities there is a very definate vibe of defacto decriminalization as long as the amount in question is small and is not assosociated with other less tolerated crimes: alchohol, violence etc. however, there is a definate argument to make in regards to the inforcement of said attitute when the "offenders" are minorities or other undesireables (sorry gutter-punks and anarcho-punks and self richeous angry-white-youth etc. you dont get to be in the undesireable category, i am refering to "mexicans", blacks, "urban-gang memebers" etc.)
Do you believe in God?
if what is meant by beleif in god is a metaphysical definition of some quality of the universe. no. however, i believe that other people do and have for a long time. i dont think we will ever come to a time when religion has been "discredited" completely. i think of it like this: if humanity were a sculpture and the first builders decided to leave a certain part of the sculpture empty, and built around this empty space for tens of thousands of generations, after a certain time what was in the space wouldnt matter. it would be there. like barbed wire in the rings of a tree. effecting the patterns. becoming part of the way the thing grew and evolved. religious thought has always been a part of the cultural organism that we inherited. it doesnt matter if we have developed techniques of discovery that allow us to know that certain presuppositions about the empty space were false. its too old. it will still be there. because religion isnt only a mechanism of understanding but of coping and building. and so i do beleive in god because i recognize that "god" is an important part of what we have been given to use to live life and recreate ourselves.
Do you think same sex marriage should be legalized?
jesus christ muhamad ali! i cant beleive this has EVER been a serious debate in the first place. to me it has always been a clear cut case of insurance-benefit exclusion. if you read those state constitutional amendments its not only same sex couples but common-law and other non-traditional domestic partnerships that are excluded from legal recognition as well. wtf? and then to find out that this is an international debate (as of a couple of years ago the only place in latin america which recognized same sex marrage was the metropolis state of buenos aires) just blows my fucking mind. am i missing something here? or are people not only that judegemntal and hateful but STUPID as well? mahadma ghandi the dahli lama!
Do you think its wrong that so many Hispanics are moving to the USA?
wrong? what does that mean? capitalism is a global phenominon thus the dynamic of competetition and need is a global phenominon. what are people suposed to do? watch their families starve and wait for a fucking green card. no, they go and find work and they out compete those who aren't willing to work for less money. this is the way things work. this is how we have made the world or at least how the world has been made for us. once again i fail to understand how it is the fault of the worker when the wage is determined in an open market? not to mention that this entire fucking continent was stolen under the exact same priciples. do you think the millions of irish and italians who came fleeing starvationa and war waited for green fucking cards? and do you think they were welcomed when they arrived? no, they didnt, and no they weren't. they where hated and spit on and run out by the stick wielders. capital seeking illegal immigrants are the truest representatives of the "american" mythos. and the most deserving to carry the tourch of post-industrial labor heros. they are literally what keeps the "dream" alive.
and to all those minute-men out there: go read the grapes of wrath. and start learning spanish. andate a la re-puta que te re-pario you short sighted, historically ignorent, selfish haters!
A twelve year old girl has a baby...should she keep it?
(makebeliever's answer: "I don't think a 12-year old girl should be having a baby at all (see abortion question), but if it did get to that point, I would leave it up to her and her family to make that decision. If she wants to keep the baby and she has a good support system that will enable her to stay in school and become a productive citizen, then she should by all means keep the baby. Since the odds of that happening are in reality very small, I think it would be better for her to give it up for adoption.")
i basically second your answer but raise you questions regarding the ultra high risk nature of a birth of that kind. but i guess you're right, the question presuposes that the child has been born, so i second your answer.
Should the alcohol age be lowered to 18?
sure. however i dont think people should be able to drive till they are 18 either.
Assisted suicide is illegal...do you agree?
once agian in oregon is legal, however the doctor who performs it faces black listing. but there are those who do it. and this is in extremely dificult question to answer and in reality the scope of the query should be refined and limited.
Do you believe in spanking your children?
dont have kids so im gonna leave that one for those who do.
Would you burn an American flag for a million dollars?
i would burn an american flag for fun. i relish the blasting of sacred cows, be they flags or religious symbols or pop culture icons.
A mother is declared innocent after murdering her 5 children in a temporary insanity case, do you agree?
(makebeliever's answer: "She should be found not guilty by reason of mental disease or defect. It's not the same as being innocent of the crime. She did it, but extenuating circumstances mean that she cannot be held responsible. And yes, I agree with that concept.")
whoever wrote this survey needs a lesson in critical thought, the wording of the questions precludes the sophistication required to answer them. i would generally agree with your answer though it gets tricky when you allow that there are always extenuating circumstances and the idea of mental balance or normality is problematic. who can we send to the chair if we concede that the idea of sanity is outdated and simplistic?
Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?
just fucking terrified.
|Tuesday, June 24th, 2008|
|Friday, December 21st, 2007|
white is nothing, empty, no one
black is human, common, hope
white is alone, weak, apartheid
black is inspired
white is war, slavery, greed
black is water, blood, womb
white is ash, lies, empty, cold
black is warm
white is ugly
white is me
white is america
black is strong
white is shame, brittle, desperate
black is worthy, mother, loam
black is prisoner
white is prison
|Sunday, December 9th, 2007|
|Tuesday, November 20th, 2007|
|Wednesday, November 14th, 2007|
|Friday, October 5th, 2007|
|gracias a la vida
well its kind of important day for p. today is the one year anniversary of my accident. during one of my initial rehab sessions in buenos aires, i was laying on the cot waiting for the rehab nurse and i began talking to the man next to me. he had tennis elbow and was receiving some kind of electrical impulse therapy. i told him my story and he remarked that considering the luck i had not dying and all, that i had a new birthday, a new life. and i kind-of agree with him, this has been the most important experience of my life thus far. nothing has changed me so profoundly in such a small stretch of time.
of course at the time, i played it down. it has only been in these last months that i can really look back at the fall, the time in the bed, the wheelchair, the limping and grasp what it has meant to me.
i had a spanish tutor when i first arrived in B.A. she asked me why I had come. I told her (in my typical mellow-dramatic fashion) that I wanted to smash myself into little pieces, so that i could pick and choose how to put it all back together. well i smashed myself up alright. and less than picking and choosing, while putting these pieces back, i have gotten a much better look at myself. who i am and what i can become.
que rara la vida
im in kansas city now. been here for almost two weeks. looking for work and hangin with the fam. the work bit has been frustrating, right now im doing phonecall interpretation for a realtor but its not so lucrative. i have faith that something will open up. i figure ill be here till the first of the year. going to louisiana for mardi gras then i'll be headed out again. im thinking europe right now, probably going to have to live and especially work clandestino but thats fine.
20 feet and ten years is what my dad says. maybe so. it makes me sad of course, looking back, my latin american stroy clouded with the accident. but to be honest, i got exactly what i was looking for. a profound, life changing, enlightenment-inspiring experience.
que sus viajes sean largas
|Sunday, April 15th, 2007|
|Thursday, April 12th, 2007|
|ok so heres a collage of lyrics ive been listening to today
nothing's quite so pure as the written word, so my dear lets have ourselves a little poem
when i was just a little child, happiness was there a while, then from me it slipped oneday, happiness come back i say, cause if you dont come i'll have to go looking - i'll find a place to rest my spirit if i can, maybe i will become a highwayman again - because you know this life, im livin is no good - i am of pokmarked shapes the vermon you need to loath - meu coração, quem nunca amou não merece ser amado - [but] on the road i wish i was the only one, the only one, still driving around, everyones gone and im finally allowed to let my feet touch the ground- [because] ive been fighting this since them fetus days, i count from one to twenty when im through repeat the phrase, that its just a phase its gonna all pass, but that gets old too- [so] god god ive got a question, might i ask you...
the mars volta
vinicius de moraes
shortbusblues Current Mood: trigger
|Monday, March 26th, 2007|
|a nice clean sober almost curseword free entry...
passing the two month hump here in vernonia. two months and i start to get antsy to move on. think im going to stay on here for a while longer though. while i may not have a full fledged bunker going i am making some progress on personal upgrades that should help to blossom and expand on my life management/direction.
plus, if you have to suffer through winter in oregon then you kind of owe yourself a bit of the summer here. its wonderful, the weather is great and there's loads of stuff to do: hiking, biking, beaching, climbing, etc. i even saw some kids longboarding the other day, down the inactive volcano park in the middle of portland. looked like alot of fun. unfortunately im not really in the condition to dare it.
just when i thought i had scaled the mountain with the phys. therapy turns out im really just starting up the bottom of the hill. up until this point tmy goal has been to eliminate my limp and work outwards from a healthy walking stride to whatever my limits may be. also up until this point the therapist has been very encouraging and telling me things like im her fastest recovering patient, you get a gold star, blah blah blah. well last week when i went in she said she had some new ideas in mind. we did a few exercises and she proceeded to tell me that my balance is way off. like my inner pendulum has switched to the right (my strong side) and that there are some minor but crucial muscle groups in my back and hips that are being used incorrectly to achieve this right-side dominant approach. as we started talking i realized that ive been kind of denying my own awareness of this phenomena. but when i set out to do something, we'll say climb a small hill. I only push myself to surmount the obstacle with my right side, and if i am put in the position to where my left side is needed in a significant way i heavily rely on my right side to compensate. so according to the therapist i may have even experienced an early neurological switch. and so, in order to counteract this i have to try and consciously recall pre-accident imprinting of body use, all the while working to re-stregthen my left side, which is tedious and frustrating and humbling. because it basically sets my back a month or more. if i turly use my body in a symmetricaly my limp returns as well as pain and frustration.
im counting on the yoga to help me with the neurological/greater-body side of these challenges. plus i'm going bike shopping this week. i have a reasonable budget and plan to buy something thats is mainly commuter but also light trail friendly.
although i will be shopping used, this will be the first time i set out to buy a quality bike with the idea of using it a my main mode of transport. because although vernonia is now, i will be leavng in a few months and i want a good bike i can take with me wherever i go. ups ships world wide.
the frustration though. its tough. my vessel usedto be strong and reliable. i could take my body and health for granted. im not comfortable with this relationship i have with my cellular structure at the moment. im not comfortable being a 26 year old grown ass man that lives with his mother. im unemployed for christs sake. course soon as i tear down this rant i am immediately reminded of how fortunate i am. most people couldnt just take six months off to recover. and when my therapsist remarks on the idiosyncrasy of my healing and my phys. condition, i know for a fact it is because i didnt have to get up and go back to work like almost everyone else in the history of the world would have had to do in my shoes. fucking hell.
in other news i caught the tail end of "bret the 'hitman' hart. wrestling with shadows" on the documentary channel. its one of the best films ive ever seen. seriously. it was supposed to be a regular character movie. like the millions of ohter annual fodder media that gets produced about wrestlers. howvere the filmmakers just happened to be filming durring what would become a turning point in the history of not only bret's carrer, not only televised wreslting but telivised entertainment in general. at one point there is actually a pannel of philosophers from places like m.i.t. and harvard sitting around discussing the finer points being brought up throughout the saga. thier commentary runs as narration like announcers in wrestling, its wonderful. im not joking.
|Friday, March 9th, 2007|
If you were to ask me, ( and I wish someone would) who my favorite writers were, i would say: Morrison, Faulkner, and Marquez. Typical Choices I know, but you just cant come out and say what's true. Truth out in the open just doesnt work. One must pay pennace to the tapesry and curtain. Truth glints like light in the corner. Look at it directly and it fades into fact. Truth endures in its etheriality.
It's like that time, laying in my bed. we had just finished and our breath was still weighted. I was starring and she asked me what I was thinking about. "Everything", I said, naked.
You know, you could see the whole history and future of the universe by just looking at one grain of sand if you had the right perspective, if you knew what to look for. It's kindof like that. I knew that night that i would leave her. And, when i finally did, (almost four years gone now) I had to go after something. But it was all right there. So I figired I had to aim high. Go for the macro if I was going to run from the micro. And I've done a bit of looking. But it was all right there to begin with. As you know it is. Same as me.
Giving into weakness makes us feel stronger, and in our moments of strength we feel weak. Its all linked back to the parodox of the creation. You feel it, same as me. The hole in the back of the mind. That's where it spings form.
And so, lonliness. Well i guess that's the final and first truth of conscousness. Awake. Alone.
I keep up best i can. Although my spy network is in shambles. Dont know what I'd do if I heard she wasn't waiting anymore. Makes me afraid. I said it without saying; but was that enough? It was. I heard without hearing.
Of all the folks who look and wonder, few ever find anything worth finding. But I remember laying there with her and knowing I had found the end. And running from it. And then I feel drawn back. "Come on back son. Come back to the long yellow days and hot buzzing green life. Long long summer afternoons. Quit delaying, quit fighting it and come on home. Make a home in me, in these long hot yards of truth you left here." Fraying in the time.
What are you thinking about?
|Friday, February 23rd, 2007|
|3 random things about P.
i look everytime before flushing.
i shower like three times aday. (these days)
i used to be in a gang. c-dogs for life biatch!